Phantom pain

In 2010 I went to Spain with my partner knowing that by the end of the trip we were going to separate. Our break up was inevitable. I flew home alone. It was the first time when I experienced phantom pain.
Some of the images I used for the project were taken during my time in Spain and afterwards I continued exploring the symptoms of phantom pain for the next two years. At times it would get better, some days the vacuum would swallow me again. These moments when against all odds you still wait for the call, the silence is so loud and all you can hear is your own heartbeat.
To me this project has been a therapy, when through suffering, emptiness and grieving the loss I came to realize that the fastest way to recovery is to let these emotions in, live them fully, feel every bit of it. It’s almost like a rip current pulling you far out into the ocean, the only way to survive is to stop fighting and it will eventually bring you back to shore.
This photograph is the closing image of the project.