BAJAO BOY
In my whole existence, I always felt as a very little person and irrelevant to any society in the world. I felt that, I, as a Bajao boy, was never going to be able to do better than any other races. I used to believe that Bajaos are born to less fortunate families with no education or whatsoever. But then I thought, many of us are degree holders and we have big dreams too like everybody else. Yes, I used to feel that, not because of the people I thought they thought about me. I was wrong. I allowed the thoughts to shape my thinking, to condition myself into thinking that I was like that and that I couldn’t do better.
Not that I am a bigger person now, but I realize that having an idea and be able to speak openly without the fear of any intimidation makes me better than people who don’t stand for anything. Furthermore, the problem was not with people who see me as little person, it was me allowing people to see me as that. I may have speaking disability but there is nothing better than to tell myself that I am special. Everybody should feel that way. I hated the people who mocked me. Not only that, I hated the thought of not accepting who I was. Those days are gone! I exist and I want to make that point across without shouting… Well, the next time other people may write about me entitled “The Self-Hating Racist Bajao Boy Gone Ballistic”. It could be worse than that; but I know that no powerful people in this world can stop people from expressing their views especially when you are spoofing, right? I would walk alone if it means that way.
I am Bajao, 30 years old, Alkazri is my name and I am not a person without purpose, also not without a will. All these thoughts that everybody was racist towards me clipped my wings. I did try to pretend to be somebody I was not. It is not okay and I got tired of it! I think fake people will never find real happiness in this world, because humans are not products. The truth won’t hurt me anymore. Gone are the days, self-hating rooted in my blood which I, too, was racist towards others. The idea of racism is not what people say, it is within. What you feel about yourself matters the most. I don't feel lesser about myself and neither should you.
Alkazri Sahibil Bin Lolong
Not that I am a bigger person now, but I realize that having an idea and be able to speak openly without the fear of any intimidation makes me better than people who don’t stand for anything. Furthermore, the problem was not with people who see me as little person, it was me allowing people to see me as that. I may have speaking disability but there is nothing better than to tell myself that I am special. Everybody should feel that way. I hated the people who mocked me. Not only that, I hated the thought of not accepting who I was. Those days are gone! I exist and I want to make that point across without shouting… Well, the next time other people may write about me entitled “The Self-Hating Racist Bajao Boy Gone Ballistic”. It could be worse than that; but I know that no powerful people in this world can stop people from expressing their views especially when you are spoofing, right? I would walk alone if it means that way.
I am Bajao, 30 years old, Alkazri is my name and I am not a person without purpose, also not without a will. All these thoughts that everybody was racist towards me clipped my wings. I did try to pretend to be somebody I was not. It is not okay and I got tired of it! I think fake people will never find real happiness in this world, because humans are not products. The truth won’t hurt me anymore. Gone are the days, self-hating rooted in my blood which I, too, was racist towards others. The idea of racism is not what people say, it is within. What you feel about yourself matters the most. I don't feel lesser about myself and neither should you.
Alkazri Sahibil Bin Lolong
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