Hello, unknown brother

To my unknown brother

Now that I know of your existence, some puzzles appear complete.
Our mama’s tears late at night when she thought I was asleep.
She must have loved you, was broken hearted, yet she did what she had done,
gave you away to another loving one.

The choice she made I will not question, nor find excuses on her behalf,
and yet a choice made deep from within her soul and heart with shame that would forever last.
A choice made while grieving her dead husband, a choice made while enduring hurt and loss of meaning,
while everything inside her must have been screaming.

The choice she made between you and me.

All these years I never knew of you; a precious secret that mama took to her grave;
until yesterday, when I stumbled across a letter with your birth name, of which I am unsure if I should trace.
I am guessing that your name has been erased and you were given another;
My question now, should I even bother?
Searching for you will take some time, finding you may cause upheaval
and I’ll betray mama by sharing a secret that is not mine to share, even though we should be equal.

I discovered a secret that is not mine to share.
Brother, will you forgive our mother … and brother, will you forgive me?
N.P.